Justin told me something just now, it was just like before , it always happens in the day before meeting. He asked me : Are we going to be scolded by professor tomorrow ? For me , i don't really have feeling now , i will only feel nervous when go inside to the meeting room tomorrow. Because maybe i still haven't been scolded by him , maybe it will be me tomorrow , hope that it wouldn't happen . Scolding actually is okay, but what i want is i get the paid i want and i would not failed the UROP course. That's why after finishing the report , i have time to write blog now .
I feel that natalie is so beautiful that day when eating with exchange students. So recently what she wants to do like playing basketball or watching movie together, i also promise and willing to go , even thought i should spend time to do the UROP report and submit it that day when watching movie. Maybe she is girl , so i did this. But i think she would not have any feeling of these reaction. For me, i just feel that she is pretty, even i am not her boyfriend, but i am glad that i have the chance to stay with her. Felicia is also very beautiful , so many guys chasing her. I am so glad that she is my mentor, i feel like i am so unstable, feel that so many pretty girl.
Just now i asked adery for drinking some ribina which he had bought from park n shop. He rejected me , and i was begging him just for a little .However, he still rejected . Actually it was just a small stuff, it would not really get me angry. But what i wanna to express and describe is my direct feeling, my first feeling of that , my instinct ! I was kind of unsatisfied , people who are unsatisfied will get unhappy. Why unsatisfied ? Because i could not get the thing i want . Maybe because i am used to share with jun kang or jeff or kay them or even chen ning , because i always get the my desire from them , i got what i want to drink and what i want to eat . And they are willing to let me run wildly!! I know it is a bad habit, but it is my instinct that i will only have these reaction to my close friends, otherwise i would not be so impolite in front others or who is not my close friend.Actually i don't have this action in my secondary school , i don't know when i started having this habit of eating friend's food . That is me ! otherwise, i would not be kent anymore! So when i unsatisfied with that, then i just keep bullying him. But actually it was not his fault, because i don't have the right to grab it . But as a friend, i think he should not be like this . When people treat you like a friend , you will also treat them like a friend. Just like chen ning , i always grab his food, so until some times i also willing to let him to eat, because i don't want him to miss something or have a sense of bullying. I am pretty sure that he is so kind of letting other to eat his food, but i will always want to ensure him to get the equality like getting some food from me. Conclusion , i just wanna write out my ''priority'' own feeling. Actually after standing up from the desk, i had told myself to calm down( it never be good feeling rejected by others) , because it is not a big deal, and this is only my observation and own feeling. I know that Chen ning also not really care about this kind of small stuff, so actually i also don't care about it . That feeling was just in that moment before i standing up after he rejected me -- unsatisfied, instantaneous moment !
I saw that jun kang was gazing at kok ling and chen ning , both of them are talking about something , he gave me a feeling like unhappy. I am trying to stimulate my memorization and enhance observation, this maybe helpful for me , maybe even my future career ( to be a boss ) .
Oh my god, writing this blog now. I suddenly found that i had lost my mobile phone !!! Now i am going to basketball court. God bless me i can find it ! Just talked to chen ning and adery after coming back from the laundry room , chen ning asked me wanna to help me or not , but i said don't need la , so far from here. Honestly, i hope that he can say : never mind la , now i am coming . But when adery asked me wanna help me or not , then i said you come la , then he said he come . I am not going to say no , if i say no again , then i think he will like chen ning like this . Ha haha , why i am so weak ? I don't know why i still can be so calm . Maybe i think i know i must can get it back.
Haha , luckily i had got back my phone . It was in the basketball court . Just now he told me it was a joke only, i don't know why i was so serious like this ? Maybe lack of communication. Rarely people request help from me like today i request others. Next time i should have this kind of stamina to help people. People think that if a man writing a blog is a sissy, i think what i need to do now , is to be myself , i don't have to ruin this blog because of the opinions from others.
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